cameoappearance:
“ jumpingjacktrash:
“ the45thpresidentialruger:
“Never talk to me or my 42 trees again
”
it amuses me to see people being surprised/impressed/amused by this setup, because it’s extremely common on the plains. if you don’t plant a...

cameoappearance:

jumpingjacktrash:

the45thpresidentialruger:

Never talk to me or my 42 trees again

it amuses me to see people being surprised/impressed/amused by this setup, because it’s extremely common on the plains. if you don’t plant a windbreak, your heating and cooling bills are huge, and storms do things like throw the lawnmower through the living room window, take the roof off, or cake the entire north side of the house with six inches of solid ice.

evergreens remain bendy even in the coldest weather, so – wait, no, not the coldest. i remember when i was a kid it got down to like -45 and the norway pines around my house were cracking like gunshots as the sap froze.

maples, incidentally, make that noise around -20f, and i hear it at least once every winter here in southern minnesota. but i only ever heard norway pines make it that one time.

so anyway that’s why we plant pine trees around our houses. because otherwise the wind would freaking kill us.

This is informative and perfectly sensible under the circumstances but I also cannot resist the temptation to compare it to planting stuff all around the boundary of your lot in The Sims

(Source: odge1492, via hotboyproblems)

spudsexuall:

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin”
-After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human”
-After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket”
-Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call
-One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. 
-After spooning me: “You have a nice butt”
-”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying)
-”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

(via clam-cream)

unsends:

bf: babe come over

me: i can’t, i’m having an existential crisis

bf: my parents aren’t home

me: are any of us really, truly….home?

(via confirmance)


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